Indecision, fear and doubt are inter-related. Wherever there is one, the other two follow.
The ability to make a decision is likely one of the most important facets of becoming an adult.
Life is full of choices. Everyday we are faced with options for just about everything we do.
During the decision-making process our imagination calculates a series of probable outcomes for each choice. Since many results of a choice cannot be foreseen, these imaginations have a tendency to be negative…they pull from a reservoir of disappointments in our memory. Often we make current decisions based on past experiences. For lack of confidence that our choices will produce positive results…we allow doubt to creep in. Let me repeat doubt = lack of confidence.
Doubt is rooted in fear. Being afraid of the outcome of a decision can be paralyzing, often leading to a withdrawal of action. What people don’t realize is that indecision is actually a decision. It is a decision to do nothing. A person who won’t make up their mind is automatically displacing the decision into the hands of their environment. Eventually the world and other people will make a choice for us, if we do not make a decision ourselves.
Example: a person is presented with 2 doors. Behind one door is a positive outcome and behind the other door is a negative outcome. If the person is indecisive and does not open either door, then they have CHOSEN not to open the doors. See a decision does still occur. So then there may be consequences of not opening either door. There is always that extra option available…the option to do nothing. We refer to this as “riding the fence”.
Riding the fence indeed has its consequences…do nothing, say nothing = be nothing.
Of course it is reasonable to be in the middle of a decision temporarily while weighing the options, but the ultimate task is to eventually make a decision. Prolonged indecision becomes a habit and a pattern of idleness, so it is wise to place deadlines on our choices, before the consequence of doing nothing arrives.
Inability to make a decision spills into other areas of our character such as responsibility and accountability. People who don’t make up their mind are unreliable to do what they say they’re going to do, because they wait for an event or the right feeling to make a decision for them. They are non-committal often saying things like, “we’ll wait and see” instead of saying, “sure you can count on me”. They aren’t sure of themselves and therefore ineffective leaders.
People are naturally selfish and lazy. Most of our decisions revolve around this nature.
We choose selfishly in favor of that which will give us the greatest amount of pleasure OR the least amount of pain. Laziness causes us to choose the shortcut; the easy way with the least amount of effort.
Back to lacking confidence…this is what limits trust and assurance to take risks.
We fear that we might lose something…or that we might miss out on something…we fear that our decision might injure our finances, reputation, or credibility. We fear failure. We fear regret.
Is it now obvious how indecision is connected to fear and doubt?
To overcome this takes strength.
Confidence comes with making decisions regardless of the outcome and if we make a poor choice, then learn from the mistake and choose better next time.
We have to take the bad with the good.
Confidence is the equivalent of having faith in our self, faith in people, and faith in the world.
Fear is the opposite of faith.
Risk is full of fears, anxiety, worry and doubt.
Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Because decision-making is faith based, people will lose faith in those who don’t know what they want or won’t make up their mind. People tend to follow someone with a sense of purpose. Something done on purpose is a premeditated decision! Making sense? Decision-makers are leaders. Who wants to follow someone who is constantly changing his or her mind about which direction to go? We want consistency and persistency in our leaders, friends, lovers, etc. We want to know that we can count on them. Beyond making a decision it takes discipline to follow through with our choices…that is a sign of maturity.
When we have that conviction of “nothing to lose”, that is when we agree that the very least we can gain a learning experience making us stronger.
This helps us to understand that cliché “Once you lose everything, then you can have anything!”
It is true, because once we have lost everything, then we no longer fear what we could lose by taking risks. It is only through the risks of our decisions that we can become prosperous or experience the best pleasures.
We don’t need to lose everything though. We just need this type of mindset that it doesn’t matter what we lose or miss out on, because the goal is the decision not the outcome!
We need to make bad decisions sometimes, so we recognize them and correct our habits so that we eventually start making more and more right decisions.
The point is to MAKE A DECISION.
Assume that everything will always work in your favor, even if the immediate outcome appears negative.
Make up your mind and proceed without looking back!
Never look back. It only creates regret “wish I woulda shoulda coulda”.
Regret is the same as feeling sorry for our selves and that is the opposite of confidence.
A confident person lives with their decisions.
Decisions are life.
Indecision is not living.
Kasey Cole Braun